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Not depressed, I'm not sad, I don't really know how to describe it.
I guess I'm just not content with the way things are turning out right now.
I'm just feeling like I'm missing a part of myself.
Bereft.
That's not really the whole picture though.
I'm happy that I might be able to get someone to drive me to see the eclipse, but I just feel that something down the line is going to prevent me from seeing it.
I know why I feel this way, but I'd rather not burden anyone else with my personal issues. I've sulked about it enough in these journals.
I need to move on with my life.
This summer has just been a roller coaster, I've had happy days, and I've had terrible days.
And it just keeps going up and down, up and down, up and dnown, with no end in sight.
I want to break the cycle but I have no clue how to do it.
I feel like a hollow shell right now.
I guess I'm just not content with the way things are turning out right now.
I'm just feeling like I'm missing a part of myself.
Bereft.
That's not really the whole picture though.
I'm happy that I might be able to get someone to drive me to see the eclipse, but I just feel that something down the line is going to prevent me from seeing it.
I know why I feel this way, but I'd rather not burden anyone else with my personal issues. I've sulked about it enough in these journals.
I need to move on with my life.
This summer has just been a roller coaster, I've had happy days, and I've had terrible days.
And it just keeps going up and down, up and down, up and dnown, with no end in sight.
I want to break the cycle but I have no clue how to do it.
I feel like a hollow shell right now.
Update about my art
Hey guys. About half a year ago, I made a drawing as a gift for someone. It was a drawing that I worked harder on than anything else I've ever done in my whole life, INCLUDING non-hobby stuff. And the guy just spat on it and insulted me for working hard on it, and as a result he completely vaporized my interest and will to draw. I haven't drawn anything since it happened and it's been FIVE FUCKING MONTHS. At this point, both me and many of my close friends find it likely that I'll never draw anything again, and sadly, I can believe that. And even if I DO start drawing again, it'll take at least a year or even a few DECADES before I get my enthusiasm back. It's going to take a VERY long time, so long that I don't even know if any of the current platforms I'm on will still exist by time it happens. So I also have very little reason to stay around on here or post anything, because I have nothing TO post since I haven't drawn anything in literally five goddamn months. I'll probably check
Kirby just died...
We were ready to let him out, and he just fell over, and it happened very suddenly. :c I was the last thing he saw... :salute: UPDATE: We just buried him. :c PLEASE SMASH THAT F BUTTON!
Kirby has cancer.
The vet said we need to put him down on Friday... I'm going to miss him, but I'll never forget him, because he meant the world to me, he was my fuzzy little buddy. :c
Sorry I haven't posted drawings recently.
My motivation and enthusiasm for drawing was pretty much completely destroyed a long time ago. The biggest part of it was that Carolus Rex drawing I had up on here for a brief period. The guy I made it as a gift for flat out told me he didn't like it and mocked me for telling him I worked hard on it, and since I worked harder on that drawing than on anything else I've ever done in my whole life, he fucking NUKED my desire to draw afterwards and since it's been FOUR FUCKING MONTHS, I don't know if I'll EVER get it back. I WANT to get it back, I won't lie, but I can't FORCE it to come back, I have to wait until I'm over it and until I'm READY for it to come back, because forcing it would only make me even more frustrated. At this point, I'm probably only going to use this account to comment on my friends' art, not to post my own anymore. At least, not until I recover my desire to keep MAKING art.
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Perhaps we can help each other out. (This took real courage to post too.)